>Dean: Go back to chatting.
>Dean: Pick it up.
Okay fucknuts, that isn’t something a person can just DO. Here’s a little help since you seem to need it. Rolleye.
You place the WHITE HEART-SHAPED BOX in your INVENTORY.
Send your commands in our ask box.
Put them in the format of -
>Dean: [command here]
>Captchalogue the present.
How does one “captchalogue” a thing? Shouldn’t you just PICK IT UP?
>Moan like a porn star and piss on your keyboard.
Suddenly, a convenient distraction appears. One of your chums is pestering you!
You respectfully decline. The magazine lands on your head.
>Dean: Flip the fuck out.
Woah woah woah woah woah! This is GAY PORNOGRAPHY! What the hell was that doing in your drawer?
… It must be one of your AUNT’s old magazines. She reads ALL KINDS of shit like that.
>Dean: Do something gay.
You sit down at your desk to do some light reading. Opening your DESK DRAWER, you pull out a MAGAZINE covered in dust. The pages are a little bit wrinkled, but it seems to be in alright condition otherwise.
Wait a second…
>Dean: Check out that poster on the wall.
Oh, this? This is your totally awesome PSYCHOTHEREPEUTIC BABY GOATS POSTER. PBG is only your FAVOURITE BAND IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE! You received it as a BIRTHDAY gift from your best friend who also made it.
PBG is a totally UNDERGROUND band and you don’t expect anyone to have heard about it. The band was started by your best friend’s SISTER, the bassist, and they have the BEST MUSIC AROUND. The AFRO-CUBAN JAZZ genre’s proudest member, PBG is loved by many young adolescents like yourself. Namely you and a couple of your friends, but who’s counting when a band is this great?